Posted by Rebekah Donaldson on Wed, Feb 17, 2010
Blogging for SEO = mind numbing boredom
In my experience, one of the biggest hurdles any blog, newsletter, website has to overcome is sheer boredom. So much content that's pushed out -- especially stuff written with SEO in mind -- is mind numbingly boring.
Blog content is for blog readers. Readers like new and different. Readers are easily bored.
It's tempting to keep churning out "top ten ways to blah blah blah" stuff, packing it with keywords -- or to keep churning out announcements, packing it with marketing messages.
I do some of that, somewhat guiltily, knowing it's more boring than the other stuff. It's a continuing battle for me when it comes to the content balance at this blog.
Being controversial = being rude?
One thing that's not boring is being controversial. But does that mean being rude? No!
I think this is the breakdown:
Bad idea:
- Ad hominems
- Offensive jokes
- Mocking/ sarcasm
- Posting/commenting with the intent of embarrassing someone or winning an argument
Good idea:
- Frank
- Edgy
- Direct
- Transparent
- Admitting one's own weaknesses/ uncertainty when appropriate
- Posting/commenting with the intent of helping
I have a friend who's really good at walking this line in his blog posts.
What's not boring?
What else isn't mind numbingly boring? Perhaps doing more on this blog regarding...
- Screw ups
- Disasters
- Flops
- Failures
- Blunders
- Mistakes
- Backfires
I think that may be our theme here on this blog, in 2010.
Posted by Robert Celaschi on Mon, Dec 14, 2009
How to say it depends on where you say it
By Robert Celaschi
Pasting evil
There are lots of ways to get your message out these days in the course of business to business communications: press releases, blogs, podcasts, tweets, Facebook posts, etc.
It’s tempting to copy the words from one format and paste them into another. But don’t give in to that temptation. A style of business to business communications that’s ideal for one format might be disastrous for another.
Small town story
At a very small newspaper in a very small town where I once worked, we had a fairly simple writing test when people applied for reporting jobs. We’d give the candidate a sheet of paper with all the facts about a traffic accident, in random order. We wanted to see how well someone could pick out the most important facts and present them in a clear, straightforward style.
One applicant admitted that she had no training as a reporter. She was just a local resident who thought it might be an interesting job. We were willing to give her a shot at the test, because she probably knew more about the town than those of us who were transplants.
She struggled awhile at the typewriter (yeah, it was that long ago) and finally said she’d have to come back some other time.
After she had gone, curiosity got the better of me and I fished her sheet of copy paper out of the trash. Her first sentence read,
“It all started one day while I was out walking my dog...”
Now, here’s the thing: While that’s a horrible way to start a straight news story, it might have worked in a blog -- if there had been such a thing as a blog back in those days.
Keeping styles straight
Different business to business communications formats demand different styles. A straight news release should set out the facts and let them speak for themselves: “Niftycorp today introduced its new line of color-coded flamdoodles.” Don’t gum it up with how Niftycorp is a leading provider, or how excited the CEO is about the new product. (It’s the CEO’s duty to be excited about his products. No news there.)
Feeding the blog beast
Blogs are a different animal. They are conversational and interactive. You can get personal: “It’s always exciting to launch a new product, but our CEO was patting a lot of backs this week when the new color-coded flamdoodles came out.” You still need to give us some meat, of course. Tell us what’s new and different. Maybe it wasn’t so much the new product, but the way the product was introduced. Maybe you came up with a creative solution to a last-minute hurdle. Maybe a customer found a new way of using flamdoodles that even Niftycorp never thought of.
Blogs give you a lot of freedom to go beyond the plain-vanilla facts.
Tweeting in harmony
Twitter, on the other hand, forces you to say everything in 140-characters or less. You stick to the main point because you have no choice, and you point the reader to details posted elsewhere: “Amalgamated Fuddle found a clever way to use flamdoodles for inventory control. Watch the video at www.fuddle [dot] com/flamdoodles.”
Color-coded flamdoodles – the perfect podcast
The opposite of a Tweet might be a podcast. Here the tone should be even more conversational than your blog: “Welcome to the Niftycorp podcast for Feb. 30. Today we’ll talk about some of the creative ways our customers have been using our new color-coded flamdoodles. It’s always exciting to find out that our favorite product has possibilities we never imagined. With me today is Arthur Flern, head of the shipping department at Amalgamated Fuddle...”
Content’s second life
It may sound like a lot of extra work to tailor your message to each medium. In a sense, though, it gives you more freedom. Are you frustrated that your draft press release isn’t working? Take a second look. You might have some blog material there.
Your turn
Look over your company’s press releases, blogs, tweets and other forms of communication. If they all sound the same, it’s time for some rewrites.
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Robert has been a business journalist for 25 years, both as a reporter and an editor. He joined Business Communications Group in 2005.
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Posted by Rebekah Donaldson on Thu, Nov 12, 2009
My dirty little secret about social media marketing
By
Rebekah DonaldsonAlot of the questions I've fielded lately have had to do with social media marketing. But I have to tell you what I'm secretly thinking, and not saying, when answering those questions on the topic.
What I'm secretly thinking is,
"Why are we still talking about this? Social media is nothing special."
Which makes me sound very grouchy. And not very "I'm excited to help you find the right answers" - ish. Which is why I keep mum about it.
But, really, it's another way of communicating! Soon the fuss will fade, and it will be as normal as using email or a cell phone. No big deal.
Good old silver lining
One upside to it seeming like a big deal, though, is that companies seem to be feeling some heat to talk more with their customers in the ways and places that customers want to talk.
In the end, that's got to be a good thing. Like a diet someone else enforces... but the opposite. You know what I mean.
After the buzz
Wouldn't it be wierd if a business didn't have a phone number? Or a website? (I do know of one company whose founder insists on not having a website. I'd point to them here but...)
Not having any social media presence is not quite that wierd - yet.
But after 2010 it may be. 
Get reliable marketing advice from MarketingSherpa - at a discount
So, good news. I just heard that you can get 50% off this week on MarketingSherpa's 2009 Social Media Marketing & PR: Benchmarks and Best Practices.
Sherpa's guides are the single best source for sober, impartial guidance about what works and what's a waste of your time and dollars.
The guide will help you right now with your social media planning. It's based on in-depth research from 1,886 social-media marketing and PR practitioners. I think it:
- Helps you determine what really works in social-media marketing
- Saves you time and needless effort because you'll find out what doesn't work
- Gives you needed research and data points to prove the value of social media to your executive team
For me, the specific case-studies are what are most valuable. Those really help with understanding real-world possibilities and ideas for practical implementation.
The note I got this morning said, "there are 14 copies left and the offer ends Nov. 30 or when the final copy is sold."
Get your copy >>
Posted by Rebekah Donaldson on Wed, Oct 07, 2009
Visits and conversions by source for www.b2bcommunications.com Sept 7 to Oct 6 2009
By Rebekah E. Donaldson
Here is a screenshot showing the sources of our website traffic that converted to leads over the last month. Looking at the chart, I answer:
- What does this chart tell you about lead sources?
- How much did you invest to get the site working this way?
- We need to generate leads - what's the best way?
Visits and conversions by source (1 month)
This chart shows how different sources have driven visits, leads, and customers to www.b2bcommunications.com. The key on the right shows the sources tracked.
What does this chart tell you about lead sources?
To see our lead sources, we open our Hubspot account (more on this below) and go to the "Reports" tab and pick "Sources". There we have a chart showing visit to lead ratios by source:
Totals for Sep 7-Oct 7, 2009 |
|
|
|
Sources |
Visits |
Visit to Lead |
Leads |
Organic Search |
590 |
0.68% |
4 |
Referrals |
265 |
2.60% |
7 |
Paid Search |
0 |
0% |
0 |
Direct Traffic |
547 |
1.50% |
8 |
Email Marketing |
0 |
0% |
0 |
Social Media |
86 |
8.10% |
7 |
Other Campaigns |
0 |
0% |
0 |
Totals |
1,488 |
1.75% |
26 |
According to the chart, visitors from social media sources convert at the highest rate. A visit-to-lead conversion rate of 8.10% means that in the last month, eight out of ten visitors who came to the site via LinkedIn or other networking sites, responded. Visitors referred to our site from an article, blog, or website are the next most likely to respond.
How much did you invest to get these leads rolling in?
Hundreds of hours and tens of thousands of dollars over several years. The site re-launched in 2007 and it's been an ongoing process to make it so visitors find what they need and take the next step. And there's still so much work to do! Meantime, we've been at blogging, search engine marketing, and social media marketing since 2007 - and public relations since 2001. We've tried to always close the loop (see below), so we know which B2B lead generation activities work and which to avoid.
What is Hubspot?
Hubspot provides advice and software that helps businesses get found on the Internet by the right prospects and convert more of them into leads and customers. We use it to build landing pages, attract traffic, nurture contacts, track leads, and connect records about leads and sales with records about marketing efforts.
We need to generate leads - what's the best way?
Here are just two of many ways to get started. Do both or pick the one that work for you:
Get a 60 Minute Internet Marketing Planning Session.
Try Hubspot - Use all the powerful features of Hubspot for B2B lead generation. Free for 30 days.
NOTE: We are pitched weekly by companies looking for affiliates to rep their stuff. So far, we've partnered only with MarketingSherpa and Hubspot. In each case, we bought their stuff and recommended it to others before we were ever a partner. Now that we are a partner, we get a small % of sales we help generate. Just so you know.
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Rebekah E. Donaldson ("Red") has led Business Communications Group since 2001. More >> |
Posted by Rebekah Donaldson on Mon, Sep 21, 2009
By Rebekah E. Donaldson
We’ve all heard the phrase, “You get what you pay for.” The truth is, sometimes you get a lot less than you pay for.
This is the first in a seven-part series of articles to help you get what you pay for when you choose a marketing agency. I’ll start today with a decision tree that shows the five key decision points. As the series progresses, I’ll show you a framework that CEOs can use to sort out the answers. In later articles I touch on the various types of marketers in the industry. You’ll also find 11 questions to ask an agency – with an example of what counts as a good answer (“pass”), and what counts as baloney (“fail”), for each. And in my seventh article in this series I’ll give five warnings, each of which begins, “Why to watch out if you hear…“
Outsourcing marketing – opportunities and threats
On the one hand, you need effective marketing because of competition and economic conditions; on the other hand, you risk:
- Wasting money
- Wasting time
- Making a bad impression on customers and internal stakeholders if marketing poorly represents the company
The real risk of taking the wrong path
A lot of marketing-related companies are vying for your attention — and your money. Cash vacuums like Google Adwords. Thousands of marketers with consulting practices. Marketing automation software companies, web hosts, email marketing tools, graphic designers, online directories, multimedia companies, social media sites and dozens of other types of vendors.
Fig 1 - Picking a marketing consultant decision tree |
Five key decision points – overview
After you resolve to do more effective marketing, you need to decide:
1. Do we need professional marketing help?
This decision is easy to overlook. After all, vendors like Google Adwords include campaign set-up and support, so why not take their free advice? Or, why not redouble your efforts with mailers and telemarketing, which produce a trickle of leads? That just requires bigger lists and more investment in the same types of marketing as before.
In this series I outline why not. And if you do need professional marketing help, you need to decide:
2. Do we need to outsource marketing or should we keep this in-house?
In 2009-2010, talent of all kinds can be had at bargain prices. But maybe you feel ambitious. Perhaps you’re up to managing marketing directly?
If you are interested in outsourcing, you may wonder:
3. Do we need a formal RFP process to look for a consultant?
There are some benefits to doing a traditional request for proposals. But that process can take months to complete.
If you can arrive at a short list more quickly and easily on your own using search engines, social media and referrals, what sort of professional marketers should make the list?
4. What kind of agency do we need — specialists or an all-in-one firm?
Specialists in marketing subdisciplines are critical to overall marketing success — but it’s risky to grasp at individual tactics (see also our Six Marketing Gotchas CEOs Can Avoid ebook). If you decide you need a firm to be accountable for helping you move the needle for your firm (not just hit marketing-centric numbers), you’ll need to decide:
5. Who should we pick — what do we ask to ensure we get the best agency?
Some folks grapple with what I think of as “early” decisions, like whether to outsource. Others skip the early decisions and go straight to weighing one resource over another.
Now that you see the path we’ll be following, we’ll start looking at the individual elements in more detail. If you haven’t already, please subscribe by email.
Posted by Rebekah Donaldson on Tue, Jun 30, 2009
By Rebekah E. Donaldson
Vendors and job applicants pitch B2B Communications each week. So far in 2009, about 1 in 4 indicate familiarity with social media. About 1 in 100 have engaged with us first through social media.
How can busy professionals get a grasp on marketing 2.0 — and start to engage and contribute? I recommend Inbound Marketing University as a foundation. After that, social media mentoring or coaching might be in order.
In 2008, after about the 100th pitch from a vendor who had no clue what a blog is, much less that we have one, I started taking note of how many vendors and job applicants use social media to demonstrate genuine interest in the companies they are courting.
Here are the numbers from Q1 and Q2 2009:
- Vendor/job applicant use of social media to engage with prospect 1%
- Vendor/job applicant social media experience 25%
- Percent of vendors/job applicants we hired who used social media to engage 100%
What does it mean to demonstrate interest using social media?
For example — if you’re starting from scratch:
- Click the button that says “Blog” on our home page.
- Enter a cogent comment about something (anything!).
- Look for me to reply. Reply thoughtfully to my reply.
Together we build knowledge and community.
Empowering marketers to get a footing with social media
What tools or help would really empower people to follow this advice, though?
In an effort to think constructively about this issue (instead of going bananas that job applicants and vendors are seemingly ignoring the “secret handshake” of social media), I asked colleagues in a Hubspot Forum and one of my LinkedIn groups about whether it seems useful, ethical, and practical to set up a B2B Communications Social Media Mentor Program.
Learning the social media secret handshake
Among the responsees received (attribution shown, if I got permission):
“…maybe the key is to embed somewhere in your blogs the way you prefer to be contacted for employment. That way if they really are interested in your company because they have looked through your posts to understand what you are about, then they will know the secret handshake, so to speak…” — Jim Lapic, DIYshutters.com
“Not sure you’re doing yourself favors by helping people “put on the right makeup“. Social media/blogging is nearly 15 years old now. It’s been a major marketing force for at least the last 5 years, and maybe more. Anyone who wants to work in communications and doesn’t get that, or can’t figure it out, doesn’t understand the medium. Is that the sort of person you want to hire?….”
“….The ones who actually are smart enough to try to engage you are the ones you should be interested in. They get it. I think at that point, your idea of giving them some direction and structure is great. Just make it clear whether they might wind up with a job (a giant carrot) or a reference (a mini carrot) at the end of your process. As long as you’re clear, you’ll wind up with some young folks who look at you and your company in a very positive light. And you never know where that good karma might get you. 
” Ann Blanchard, Blanchard Enterprises and Handirecords
“Wow! It sure sounds like it would be very helpful, the ethics seem clear to me in your description of the purpose and intent, I would wonder at the manageability….” Jerry Wilkinson, Green Frog Outdoor Furniture
“One suggestion, instead of a resume make it a contest to see who can be most creative with social media to submit their qualifications….” Geoff Sakala, Owner, Metro Media
“….Look at the Murphy-Goode campaign: http://www.areallygoodejob.com/video-thumbs.aspx… the campaign brought thousands of people to their site….” Bill Betz, Investor/ reverse engineer at Pavement Marking Technologies, Inc.
“….If you treat your intern with respect, trust, and include him/her in the decision making process, you will create a professional you’ll be proud to recommend or one day call a colleague. Plus their work will reflect that empowerment.” — Jenny Koreny, Online Learning & Multimedia Designer
A foundation for social media coaching and mentoring
I would be happy to engage with vendors and job applicants through social media… if everyone is on the same page about marketing best practices.
Just look at how useful it can be. The people named above (and others) helped me think through an issue – without payment or quid pro quo… without my traveling anywhere… on their own time. That made me want to help them back (see links above).
It’s all good because we’re all on the same page about the value of social media marketing and how to go about it.
Learn the ”secret handshake” at Inbound Marketing University
I recommend Inbound Marketing University for learning the social media “secret handshake.”
The IMU program includes webinars by thoughtleaders in the social media, internet marketing and lead generation industries and culminates in an inbound marketing certification exam.
Learn more about IMU >>
Social Media Coaching from B2B Communications
I offer a 90 minute social media coaching session focused on your social media marketing needs and questions.
Learn more about my social media coaching >>
Posted by Rebekah Donaldson on Fri, Jun 19, 2009
By Rebekah E. Donaldson
I talked with Sacramento Business Journal senior reporter Kathy Robertson this week about the return on investment from the Red On Marketing Blog. Her questions got me thinking about why I do it, and this post is the result.
To ground things in real world and tangible results, you’ll see a screenshot showing where our website traffic and leads came from this week.
I’ve written the Red On Marketing Blog since Fall 2007. Yes, one reason I started it was to market our company. Another is that we help our clients with staying at the top of certain search results in Google, and social media (which includes blogging) is part of how we do it. We need to walk the walk.
We track everything with lead management software. Social media has tangibly helped us. Leads are up 400% this quarter over the same period last year. We have new leads every day – many from our website. So social media might sound like a fad or B.S. to some CEOs. But it’s moved the needle for our company.
Referrers — week of June 15 2009
Of our current clients, most found us online. For example, one Sacramento CEO found us when he searched “Sacramento search engine optimization”; another when he searched in LinkedIn for “B2B marketing Sacramento”; and so on.
Blogging is part of Social Media
The Red On Marketing Blog is intertwined with other efforts. It doesn’t stand alone. I’m active on LinkedIn – mostly I try to answer questions – and on Twitter. Sometimes, helping in those forums means pointing to B2B marketing articles, and other B2B Communications resources.
One realization I’ve had is that a marketer’s mindset can backfire with a blog or other social media participation. When I started blogging, I thought about it in terms of
1) Make a calendar of article topics.
2) Chip away at the calendar.
But that can lead to really boring blog posts. And everyone hates boring.
You Said WHAT?
Before starting the blog I’d been reading other people’s blogs for a couple of years. People like Josh Bernoff and David Meerman Scott publish edgy stuff that gets people talking (and pisses off some readers – a cost of being interesting).
The threads of comments after they post are crazy – dozens and dozens of smart people write in to respond.
I really wanted to do that.
Stirring Things Up
Fortunately, I have strong opinions — especially when it comes to cases of marketers getting things terribly wrong.
When I gave stronger opinions, you (readers) did too. Example: “From the Shocking Marketing No Nos Department.” When I published that piece, our blog lit up with comments and backlinks. It was referenced in many more places online. The lesson to me was: Speak up! Call it like you see it!
So after that I co-wrote an ebook. It took 9 months and was like having a third baby. Kind colleagues promoted it with social media (thank you Dianna Huff, David Meerman Scott, Peter Kim, Peter Caputa, and other colleagues).
Behind the Scenes Battles
One behind-the-scenes struggle I have is over topics appropriate for the blog. On the one hand, there is value in publishing about basic marketing techniques and issues. In fact, my colleagues at B2B Communications keeps reminding me that some of you may want intro material . But I fear you’re bored with the same old stuff like ”segment your audience!” “get the word out!” It seems like recycled, regurgitated truisms. (Who’s right? Please comment.)
Girl’s Dream Comes True
One thing that surprised me was that our blog helped us become a MarketingSherpa Affiliate. (MarketingSherpa is like Consumer Reports for marketers – loads of objective data that helps you make good decisions.) I think we’re the only one in Sacramento, California and surrounding regions. It gives us a lot of credibility – most marketers really admire Sherpa – as well as access to their material and the ability to pass along discounts.
One of their big decision criteria was around the quality of guidance we provide through our blog. They looked and said we were doing a great job. So the blog helped us stand out among much bigger agencies. It’s also led to interviews, invitations to speak, and other exposure with organizations like Forrester Research and Hubspot. Each of those organizations reaches tens of thousands of subscribers with their updates. The blog is also one of our top sources of search engine traffic and exposure for our services.
Most importantly, it’s sparked interactions with hundreds of small business owners and business to business marketers.
Keeping it Real
Still, even if we didn’t get the business benefits I’ve listed, knowing what I know now, I would still write a blog. Blogging helps keep things real. It makes me stay abreast of new data and ideas, instead of throwing up my hands because there’s too much. It makes me a better thinker, a better listener, a better writer, and a better salesperson.
Your turn
My hope is that, if you’re one of those business folks who has been blogging, but doesn’t know if it’s worth it, or you’ve held off because you don’t think anyone wants to read a blog written by you, maybe hearing about my experience will help you keep at it or get started.
Do you blog? Why or why not?
Posted by Rebekah Donaldson on Fri, Apr 03, 2009
It’s no secret that social media have become part of the mainstream culture: blogs, YouTube, online forums, networking sites and so on. We’ve been writing about the topic for a while, such as the impact of social media on B2B marketing and tipping points for business participation.
The secret is how to master these new tools for B2B marketing. There are few success stories out there, and copying others doesn’t work, according to Forrester Research Inc.
Finding your prospects’ venues
A sensible starting point: learn who is showing up at these new venues and why. To get the answers for one slice of the business world, Forrester Research surveyed more than 1,200 business technology buyers and packaged the findings in a report titled “The Social Technographics Of Business Buyers.”
A full report is accessible to Forrester clients, or access a free replay of Laura Ramos’ talk on the subject.
One of the first things you’ll notice in their findings is that, regardless of how involved they are with social media, this audience is still overwhelmingly male. The “creatives” among them, the ones who publish their own blogs, video and music, are 83 percent men.
Making sure social media efforts are integrated
If you are trying to reach these folks through social media, make sure the effort is integrated with the rest of your marketing. Forrester discovered that while most of them view social media very favorably, they still fall back on more traditional marketing materials when deciding what to buy.
For example, word-of-mouth has a big impact, but they tend to pay attention to their colleagues at work much more than their counterparts online.
Social participation doesn’t automatically give you influence
In other words, business buying is still complex, Forrester says, and social participation doesn’t automatically give you influence.
Does that mean we should give up on it for marketing purposes? Not a bit. In fact, it means just the opposite.
B2B buyers believe social media will be a bigger part of decision making
The survey results show that in the coming year, buyers believe that forums, virtual trade shows, and online reviews will be a bigger part of their decision-making. These are the social media options that most closely resemble the user conferences, exhibitions, and buyer guides that these buyers have been relying on for years, without requiring them to physically be there.
Question: B2B buyers believe social media will be a bigger part of their decision making. Do you?
Learning more
Posted by Rebekah Donaldson on Mon, Feb 09, 2009
Today Cris Rominger and I published a free B2B marketing e-book (550KB PDF) called The New Rules of Outsourcing B2B Marketing: What Marketing Directors need in a B2B marketing consultant today.
In it we discuss how the shift to inbound marketing affects Marketing Directors; the 5 essential traits your B2B marketer needs and why each is important; 10 questions to ask a prospective B2B marketing consultant; how to cut ROI guesswork; what B2B buyers are looking for; and why B2B marketing differs from B2C.
We’re hoping to hear feedback. Please weigh in. (Tip: to comment, scroll down to the bottom of an article.)
We started this e-book in the summer of 2008, and finished it… well… every time I open it I start tinkering. My file name for it is currently ”Outsourcing ebook FINAL v7″. But give birth we must.
My hope is that this blog post could work as a discussion area for the e-book. To try to get things rolling, here are some questions for you readers:
Premise: Changed marketing landscape
1. We argue that the marketing landscape has changed. Did we get it right? Leave anything out?
Premise: Specialization not enough
2. We argue that because of a changed marketing landscape, it takes special skills to see and seize opportunities. Did we get that right? Leave anything out?
To engage decision makers today, our view is that B2B companies need to:
- Prove their value through a strong business case
- Build sites and other communications vehicles in a way that fosters trust
- Pull in prospects
… and that doing it requires specialists in both new and traditional marketing disciplines. Still, it’s your B2B marketing partner’s job to see all the options and how they can work together.
Premise: higher bar for B2B marketing consultants
The e-book is really about what it takes to help Marketing Directors reach and engage today’s savvy B2B buyers without breaking the bank. We’re trying to articulate a standard to which Marketing Directors should hold us and other B2B marketing agencies.
Are there parts of the e-book you particularly agree or disagree with? We’re hoping to hear feedback. Please weigh in.
Posted by Rebekah Donaldson on Wed, Dec 31, 2008
It was hard to pick just a few ‘best’ tweets from this fall. I started with dozens of favorites. Here are 10 that killed me.
10. @nick: Just got an invite confirming that anything described as “INCREDIBLE” is not. As in, “an INCREDIBLE tech/social media summit.”
9. @ilinap: My son says Cheesus instead of Jesus. Now Chuck E Cheese’s commercial on TV really has him confused. What does Chuck have to do w/ Cheesus?
8. @InsoOutso: I could nap on so many horizontal surfaces in this office.
7. @joshdmorg: There is a single fly in my office – he mocks me
6. @laughingsquid: Free giant squid on Craigslist, I would take it in, but I’m not sure if it would get along with our cats
5. @marklisanti: Pretty sure that Blagojevich believed that when he put on his enchanted hair-helmet, no one could eavesdrop on his corrupt thoughts
4. @marklisanti: Oh, darn! A bag full of loose turkey innards again! Guess I was on the naughty list. Thought I might find a new train set this year
3. @mriggen: My family’s emergency preparedness plan involves not just one but two trips to the liquor store
2. @nick: It’s the year 2008. Can’t they design pasta that screams just as it gets al dente?
1. @nick: How are there still typos on the Wikipedia page for meth?
And if you’re craving more… check out:
To learn more, check out: