Posted by Rebekah Donaldson on Wed, Dec 02, 2009
Repel visitors with ease
By
Rebekah Donaldson*
(*Note: To develop this article, I took Writing Web Content for the Online Reader by Cris Rominger and turned it inside out.)
Websites have been a standard business marketing tool for more than a dozen years, and yet some folks still don’t know how to present material well on the Internet.
People don’t look at the computer screen the way they look at the printed page, or even the television set.
The web demands its own approach if you want your content to grab the eye and get attention.
With that in mind, you may be headed for a B2B website disaster if you:
Get stingy with hard facts
Business-to-business buyers are information hounds. They spend a lot of time researching, evaluating, and compiling information online because it helps them make decisions. According to Enquiro
research, a full 92% of respondents turn to online resources in the early stages of the buying cycle. What b2b folks don’t like is promotional fluff, mission statements, and other marketing blah blah.
Throw giant blobs of text at your visitors
As information seekers, we’re goal oriented, impatient and critical. We scan rather than read. People have a hard time dealing with more than 100 words in a solid block, according to Crawford Killian, author of Writing for the Web. (Also check out Killian's fiesty post How not to write for the web -- I'm e-swooning.)
If you have more to say, break the chunk into two or three paragraphs, each with a subhead, all surrounded by lots of white space.
Avoid transitional phrases so your content chunks can stand on their own. Information on the web works best in modular rather than linear style.
Take your time getting to get to the point
Heat maps and eye tracking studies repeatedly show that headings grab our eye. To leverage their impact, use descriptive phrases that tell the reader what the content is about.
Place information carrying words at the beginning of headings to quickly convey meaning and use language your readers understand. If they "pick up an information scent" (Cris' term), they’ll drill down. And if they find relevant information that serves their needs or interests, they’ll read.
Write in a flowery style
Use strong verbs. Write in the active voice. Get to the point. "Marketing prose" does more than slow readers down. It annoys them.
Make readers work for information
Help the reader learn what the paragraph is about by using boldface type for information-rich keywords.
But don’t go overboard. Too many bolded words are distracting and hard to read. Use bulleted and numbered lists when appropriate. They rank right next to headings as the most-scanned areas of a page. Bullets are a great place to convey key benefits.
Consider tables for voluminous information. Tables or matrices can quickly convey and compare information that is easily lost in text.
Make the page too gray
Use photos, graphics, and captions to guide the eye and reinforce your message. They are called anchor points. They are the places where we start looking at a page.
Don’t worry about the design
A sloppy or confusing design hides your message. A good design instills confidence and trust. The right visual segmentation and hierarchy will help readers see how to interact with you.
Posted by Robert Celaschi on Mon, Nov 16, 2009
It may be time to give your marketing materials a refresher
By Robert Celaschi
If you check out the little bio under my photo at the bottom of this article, you’ll see that “Robert has been a business journalist for 22 years...”
But it’s not true.
The fact is, this month marks 25 years since I started writing for business publications. I bring it up not to brag, but to point out how easy it is to let the details of marketing copy slip out of date. Where did the last three years go?
Even after all the research, all the editing, all the nice graphic design, you still need to keep an eye on the finished product to make sure it doesn’t get left behind as the rest of the world marches on.
Often it’s the little things that trip us up. For instance there’s that little line on most newspapers and magazines that says something like, “Vol. XXVI, No. 49.” Every edition should get a new number, and the volume number typically changes ever year or six months. It’s so easy to forget to change the number that many publications make part of their standard production checklists.
Even then it’s too easy to let the mind coast. I have seen weekly publications that dutifully change the number of the edition each week: 49, 50, 51, 53, 54 ...
Eventually someone says, “Hey, weren’t we supposed to change the volume number after 52 and start over with 1?”
Your turn
If you have been using the same marketing copy for more than a year, go back and read through it with a critical eye.
- Have any of the facts changed since they went into the brochure or onto the website?
- Do the photos and graphics still show reality? (Of course we assume that they did originally)
- Do the press release dates include the years?
- Do all your web links still go where you think they do?
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Robert has been a business journalist for 22 years, both as a reporter and an editor. He joined Business Communications Group in 2005.
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Need a fresh pair of eyes?
A fresh pair of eyes can help you ensure your marketing materials will be effective in 2010... especially if they're attached to an experience B2B marketer. Get help >>
Posted by Rebekah Donaldson on Mon, Oct 12, 2009
National Business Group On Health publishes "Choosing the Right Hospital" toolkit with our help
By Molla Donaldson, DrPH, MS and Rebekah Donaldson
With all the talk of health reform, one issue that keeps coming up is that people should have access to affordable quality care. But how can we know what quality of care is when it is so complex? Part of the answer is to make quality of care information publicly available. Another part is to take the language of quality ("mortality" "risk" "variation" etc.) and translate it to plain English.
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See the Toolkit and Employer's Guide we helped write. What do you think? Please comment in the Comments area below. |
The National Business Group on Health has published “Choosing the Right Hospital,” an online toolkit developed to help people choose the hospital where they are likely to receive the best care. Molla Donaldson and I helped prepare it, under the leadership of National Business Group on Health President Helen Darling, and Director of Benchmarking & Analysis Karen Marlo.
We also developed a guide for Human Resources officers to help employees use the guide.
“We are grateful that Molla and Rebekah were able to lend their expertise to the development of these valuable tools for employers and employees alike,” said Darling. “Helping employees understand the importance of using quality hospitals and providing them with tools to do just that is imperative to improving the safety of care in our hospitals and helping to control health care costs.”
The National Business Group on Health is an association of many of the country’s largest self-insured businesses. Their website and publications provide a large employers’ perspective on national health policy issues and practical solutions to its members’ most important health care problems.
Through this project, I (Rebekah) learned how frequently medication errors, surgical mishaps, and other patient safety issues occur. The Institute of Medicine (with Molla’s help in 2000) alerted the public to medical errors almost 10 years ago in a widely publicized report. There was great hope that safety would improve. But in a follow up study, the federal government’s 2008 National Healthcare Quality Report found that hospital patient safety measures have worsened by nearly 1 percent each year for the past six years.
When people can choose a hospital, it is most likely based on their insurance, where their doctor practices, and advice from family and friends – but this information may not be accurate. There are good web sites now, and our work tried to make it easier to understand the quality and safety information–and what patients themselves report — at the federal government’s site, Hospital Compare.
We’ve written in the past about how organizations do well by doing good. The National Business Group on Health has merged doing well with doing good. Choosing the Right Hospital helps everyone compare quality and safety. We believe that the more people know about and insist on safe care, the more likely it is that health care will improve.
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(Note: comments were imported 11/6/09 during migration from Wordpress)
Posted by Robert Celaschi on Thu, Oct 01, 2009
Have pity for the poor sentence that is asked to do too much
By Robert Celaschi
I did promise not to get all grammatical in these blog posts, and I'm not going to bring out the chalkboard today. I'll only make a quick mention of nouns and verbs. You can say a lot with just a pair of nouns and a verb.
You probably remember: A noun is a thing, and a verb is what the thing does. If you have a company - for instance, Niftycorp - that's a noun. If you introduce a product, "introduce" is a verb. And "product"? That's another noun.
Now, in a product announcement you need a few additional words or else you'll sound like Tonto: "Mmmm, Kemosabe. Niftycorp introduces product." But watch out when you start loading up the sentence with details.
Here’s how it typically starts. Your company is announcing its brand new line of framdoodles. You start writing,
“Niftycorp has introduced its new line of framdoodles.”
It’s better than Tonto, but still not very good. It does tell me what the product is, but it doesn’t tell me what’s so new and special about it. So you expand it to,
“Niftycorp has introduced its new line of color-coded framdoodles.”
Ah, that’s good. Of course we have to include our trademarked product name:
“Niftycorp has introduced its new line of Framtastik® color-coded framdoodles.”
Oh, and don’t forget that the Big Boss wants us to play up the product’s durability.
“Niftycorp has introduced its new line of Framtastik® shock-resistant, color-coded framdoodles.”
But wait, there’s more!
While you were writing all that, a few more important people have weighed in with their suggestions. Before long, you have an announcement that says,
“Niftycorp has introduced its new line of Framtastik® shock-resistant, color-coded, industrial strength, environmentally friendly, anodized, high-throughput, permeable framdoodles.”
Of course, you can’t pass up a chance to tout the company itself. And you need to identify your target audience. And you want to show the company’s reach.
So:
“Niftycorp, the leading provider of provision leadership solutions to the cost-object deliverables industry in the greater tri-state metroplex, has introduced its new line of Framtastik® shock-resistant, color-coded, industrial strength, environmentally friendly, anodized, high-throughput, permeable framdoodles.”
If you can’t tell yet what’s wrong with that, try reading the sentence out loud. Now try doing it in one breath.
Yes, you have many important points to convey. But when you try to make everything stand out as important, nothing stands out as important. So start with a couple of nouns and a verb. Lightly sprinkle them with one or two ultra-important bits of information, like the product name and what’s new about it. Save the other important information for later sentences.
Your turn!
Pick up some of your marketing materials and read them out loud. Do you start stumbling over sentences that are trying to do too much? Do you run out of breath? If so, take a deep breath and start splitting the message into manageable loads.
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Robert has been a business journalist for 22 years, both as a reporter and an editor. He joined Business Communications Group in 2005.
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Need help?
Get help to make marketing materials that encourage prospects to take the next step.
Posted by Robert Celaschi on Mon, Sep 14, 2009
By Robert Celaschi
Something strange happens to people when they send marketing email. They’ll take a powerful, persuasive marketing message, and torpedo the whole thing by slapping a lousy subject line on it.
What makes it really strange is that the email might contain a press release or other message with a really great headline. The sender could have cut and pasted it. But no, instead they type a vague or garbled mess of words that makes me shrug and move on.
I’ll confess I’m sometimes guilty of sloppy subject lines. I’ve struggled and sweated to craft the right message. I’ve set the right tone. I’ve targeted the right people. I’m ready to press the “send” button and then — oh, yeah, gotta put some kind of subject line on this puppy. Zip-zip-zip, done. Instead, I should take even more care with those precious few words that may determine whether the email even gets opened.
Let’s look at a half-dozen real subject lines that real marketing people emailed to me in the past month.
Subj: New Dilemma For Small Business Car Leases After Unemployment
Huh? Let’s see: I gather that there’s a new dilemma of some sort. For whom? Small Business Car Leases After Unemployment. Uhhhhhhh, sorry, does not compute. This one would work better with a simple colon after “Business.” Not great, but better. The story is about businesses transferring the leases on company cars, because they’ve laid off so many of the workers who used to drive them.
Subj: Non-Profit
That’s it, just “Non-Profit.” There are a lot of nonprofits out there. They do a lot of different things. I had to dig way, way down to discover that this nonprofit is a foundation that helps children. They are holding a fund-raiser this month in Miami. If I hadn’t picked this as an example for the blog post, I wouldn’t have bothered to find out any of that.
Subj: Survey: A Quarter of Firms Scaling Back Training
A direct hit. Tells me everything I need to get started. Now I’ll open the email and find out the details. Whoops — turns out that while 26 percent are cutting back their training programs, 28 percent have expanded. But, hey, they got me to read it.
Subj: Boston – Social Media Capital?
I don’t like questions for subject lines. Why are you asking me? Don’t you already know? If not, go do some more research and get back to me.
Subj: Time for Change in Credit Card Game
Maybe it is indeed time for a change in the credit card game, but since I have no idea what this means, it’s hard to say. The easy fix here would have been to condense the first line of the enclosed press release: Consumers now can say “no” to credit card interest rate hikes.
Subj: July home sales increased 12 percent; median home price declined 19.6 percent
This one delivers. I feel like a double winner, because I learn about sales volume and about price. This is about the California housing market, by the way. Bad news if you are a seller with a fat mortgage.
Your turn!
OK, you get the idea. Now take a look at the email you’ve sent in the past month. If someone didn’t already know your message, would they get the right idea from the subject line?
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Robert has been a business journalist for 22 years, both as a reporter and an editor. He joined Business Communications Group in 2005.
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Get help to make marketing materials that encourage prospects to take the next step.
Posted by Robert Celaschi on Thu, Aug 13, 2009
By Robert Celaschi
I won't buy your product or service if you don't tell me what it is.
Fun and games!
Here’s a fun game:
Guess what each company is selling, using these lines from their press releases.
“…an expert in the image solution arena.”
“This is a result of an improved customer focus and strong actions to improve our solution competitiveness.”
“… delivers business-aligned solutions
“… a provider of mobility solutions”
And my favorite of the moment:
“… a trusted solutions provider to customers in manufacturing, health care, financial services, public safety, transportation & logistics, and other industries.”
Believe it or not, these companies sell specific things: elevators, servers, computer consulting services, camera phones, iPhone applications.
Drifting off message
I know how we got here. Back in the mists of the 20th century, some truly brilliant marketing folks got the idea that their company did more than push a product out the door; the product actually solved a problem for their customers.
“Mr. Customer, we aren’t just selling you a widget polisher, we are providing a solution to your scuffed-widget problem.”
But somewhere along the way, companies got so fixated on “solution” that they forgot to say what they are selling.
Think about the marketing material you are writing right now. When it falls into my hands, it may be the first time I have run across your company, and I’d really like to know what business you are in. But I don’t have time to play detective. Tell me the specific product or service, preferably near the start.
If you want to call it a “solution” later on, that’s fine.
Reality check
Here’s your homework assignment: Pick up some of your marketing materials and look at them through the eyes of someone who never heard of your company. Is it clear from the start what you are offering? Or are you merely providing vague “solutions” for an undefined problem?
Get help
We design and copywrite marketing materials that encourage prospects to take the next step.
Posted by Robert Celaschi on Mon, Jul 06, 2009
By Robert Celaschi
Copywriting marketing materials? The challenge is to ensure prospects are informed, not befuddled. An expert marketing copywriter gives tips on speaking their language.
Fans of Steve Martin might remember his plumber joke, supposedly told for the benefit of all the plumbers in the audience. It’s actually a joke about the disaster of using language that people won’t understand.
The joke
“This lawn supervisor was out on a sprinkler maintenance job, and he started working on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom seven-inch gangly wrench. Just then this little apprentice leaned over and said, ‘You can’t work on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom seven-inch wrench.’ Well, this infuriated the supervisor, so he went and got Volume 14 of the Kinsley manual, and he reads to him and says, ‘The Langstrom seven-inch wrench can be used with the Findlay sprocket.’ Just then the little apprentice leaned over and says, ‘It says sprocket, not socket!’”
[Worried pause.]
“Were these plumbers supposed to be here this show?”
Hitting the mark with marketing materials
When you are putting together materials to market your company, think about the audience you are reaching out to. When you talk about “plants,” will they assume you mean botanical or manufacturing? When you mention the AIA, will they know which AIA you mean? There is an American Institue of Architects, an Aerospace Industries Association, and other groups going by the same initials.
If your target audience is new to your product or service, help them get on board. They won’t be impressed if you dive right in with details about Langstrom wrenches and Findlay sprockets. They’ll be baffled, and they’ll go looking for some other company that they can understand.
On the other hand, your target audience may know more about Findlay sprockets than you do. In that case, they’ll appreciate you using their language. If you oversimplify your pitch, they might think you don’t respect their expertise.
Marketing copywriter’s reality check
There’s no standard formula for finding the middle ground between talking down to your audience and talking over their heads. But there’s one good test to see whether you’ve hit the mark: Ask them. Show a rough draft to a few people in your target market and ask them what they think.
Have you tested your marketing materials with someone in your target audience? Are there times when you need separate materials for the newbies and the veterans in your audience? Please comment.
Help with marketing materials
We can help you design and copywrite marketing materials that encourage prospects to take the next step. Learn more >>
Posted by Robert Celaschi on Fri, Jun 12, 2009
By Robert Celaschi
You want your marketing materials to carry a wallop, right? So don’t waste words. Here are three words that are almost always a waste. Take a few extra seconds to get rid of them, and nine times out of ten you’ll improve what you just wrote.
“Situation”
“Situation” isn’t such a bad word by itself. But it’s usually a big waste when it’s bolted onto another word. For instance, how is an “emergency situation” any worse than a plain old emergency? It isn’t. That’s always a good way to tell if you’ve padded out your writing with useless words: If you can chuck the word without changing the meaning, you didn’t need the word in the first place.
I’ve heard advice about how to handle a layoff situation. I’ve seen TV news reporters talk about flood situations. I’ve read blogs describing a hoax situation. They don’t fool me. These are just garden-variety layoffs, floods and hoaxes.
“Process”
It’s the same drill with “process.” Here’s a fun video about choreographed ball-passing. Notice that the choreographer isn’t content to merely start rehearsals. No, he starts the rehearsal process. Remember the flood situation from a few sentences ago? It’s almost always followed by a cleanup process. How about the interview process? The reading process? Engage in the thinking process about that.
“Facility”
“Facility” takes a little more thought. If you run across something like “nursing home facility,” you already know what to do. But sometimes facility is hanging out there all by itself. In those cases, you still take it out, but you have to put something in its place.
But what? Try this little exercise. It works better with two people, but you can do it by yourself in a pinch. Close your eyes and have somebody read the following list of words out loud, slowly. Pay attention to mental image you get when you hear the words:
- Gas station
- Hospital
- Ballpark
- Laboratory
- Restaurant
- Church
- Facility
If you got any kind of mental picture for “facility,” you have a better imagination than I do. Just about any building (or group of them) is a facility. So the word doesn’t mean anything in particular. If you see “facility” in your blog, brochure or other writing, try to picture what kind of facility you are talking about, then use that word instead.
Of course, someday you may find yourself writing about a combination gas station, church and restaurant. Don’t rack your brain. Call it a facility and move on.
Other words and phrases
Can you think of some other words and phrases that don’t really mean anything? Sure you can. There are lots of them.
Posted by Rebekah Donaldson on Fri, May 15, 2009
I’m pleased to introduce Robert Celaschi as a contributor to this blog.
Robert has been reporting and editing business stories since before there was a Web. He spent many years on the editorial staff of the Sacramento Business Journal and is a former managing editor of the Silicon Valley/San Jose Business Journal. He joined Business Communications Group in 2005.
For this blog he’ll be contributing items about effective ways for a business to talk about itself, and how to get others talking.
This he knows. He has helped our clients produce dozens of clear and consistent case studies, press releases, contributed articles, executive profiles, blog and newsletter content, and in-depth guides.
So don’t worry, he won’t be giving grammar lessons. It’s all about what works in the real world.
Please stay tuned!